My mom dropped a bunch of boxes off to me a couple months ago and I finally took on the project to go through them. I found (and burned) piles of old documents and needed to decide what pictures to save and what to let go. I also found my diary from when I was a kid. Started at the age of 11 (1987), I wrote diligently for the first few years, then entries became far and few between, with the last being in 2001. And I am very much ashamed that each and every entry was about my weight – the constant struggle of the daily battle (of which I never won) and the envious statements of the thin girls around me and the ever so coveted outfit of a pair of well-fitted jeans and a white tank. Over a decade of self-deprecating statements of my body; what new-found fad diet I was trying, even at the young age of 13 before grade school prom and the boy crushes I had all throughout high school. Getting my heart torn out and broken by my first love and then being saved by my now-husband. The honest words of a young girl growing up in a body she never loved.
I have rarely decided to reflect on the year, although Christmas time is often the point in the year you wind down, remember and make new promises to yourself in the new year. With the eye-opening experience of re-reading my own words from so long ago, I am forced to reflect on where I was at the tender age of 11 and the amazing strides I have made in my 37th year.
A collage of some of the many great moments in my 2013. What I accomplished, and what I am most proud of…
- 5-5k races (all of which I finished under 41 minutes)
- walking away from an unhealthy business relationship with no where to go and no prospects
- getting certified as a Personal Training Specialist
- taking my Weight Loss and Nutrition Specialist course
- learning to say no to some pretty awful relationships
- learning to say NO
- starting this blog
- connecting with other who are on their own journeys
- being interviewed for an online weight loss blog
- featured on the Steven and Chris show for their Makeover Boost
- running a household and raising my children with love and the most patience I can muster some days
- trusting some brand new friendships and business partnerships – this is a big deal for someone who is constantly guarded
- inspiring others to make change in their lives
- supporting some pretty awesome women and their businesses
- I can still do a cartwheel!
- having so much more fun outdoors and indoors with my kids – physically being able to do things I could not think of doing
- shopping non-plus!! My god, that 11 year old girl would be super proud of me
- learning to love my body. I love walking around naked and am proud of the changes I am making
- getting in touch with passion again – and that is any kind of passion. The idea of desire is one that is in all of us and while it may show up in different ways, I am happy to have found my spark
It has been an amazing 2013. I have dealt with loss, rebirth, struggle after struggle. I am proud that, although my weight has been the same, I am fully aware of my relationship with food and moving my body. I am me, but different. And I publicly pronounce 2014 to be the true year of me!
No more excuses, reasons, or perceived roadblocks. I have a great support system, an awesome family and so many wonderful souls around me that remind me daily of who I am. Thank you for your continued love and belief in my purpose.
I hope to continue to inspire you and believe you will have the motivation to make the change you need.
Merry Christmas & Happy New 2014.
It’s going to be a great year.