Can We Settle for a Quickie?

Update, that is!

I have a much longer post ready to publish, mainly on what has changed in my journey and what impacted that change, but I thought before I go on a long awaited tropic vacation, I would send out some info on how the heck things have been.  Time off has come to an end.  Kick-ass mode has been in full effect since my sabbatical started on February 6th.  I have been writing, feverishly, and will slowly publish and as topics come up, I will continue to interact with you.

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I recommitted to myself on February 6… It was a random date.  Starting weight was actually 218.4 (this picture was taken before my Juice Cleanse – more on that later!)

When I hit the PUBLISH button 202

Down 16.4

I am so close to that “1” I feel like bursting!!!

Would like to dedicate this win/loss to my li’l bro down South. Hope you are reading this.  You encouraged me back to the iron, your story continues to inspire me and your friendship has meant a lot to me! Thank you!

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Did a fun, chilly photo shoot for one of my favourite photographers, Julia (see her Facebook page here).  It was a great experience and one of my bucket list items!  This was my fave of all the photogs’ pictures.  And I post this, not only for the narcissist in me as I really like this picture, but because this reflects  something I love.  I am an extremely passionate person and doing things that tap into that part of me is important (and if I can avoid getting arrested again, the better)  I loved this.  I love Julia and I look forward to my next shoot with her in May.

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I continue to laugh daily.  And while nothing has necessarily changed in the that department, I am learning to find more joy in what I do and experience.  There’s a lot of shit in the world and you can easily go through the day without stopping and experiencing the wonderful around you.  To steal a line from “Her” (a movie I watched and sobbed at), “I’ve just come to realize that, we’re only here briefly. And while I’m here, I wanna allow myself joy. So fuck it.”  Keep laughing.

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I learned to put me first. And guess what?  Without guilt!! Having a crying daughter at the door on my way out to Zumba one night forced me to make a decision.  And that decision was to explain why I had to go.  She understood and gave me a big hug and kiss on my way out.  Great moment in both our lives.

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I completely-ish changed my eating habits for a committed 30 days, that has continued. More on this in my next post, but do yourself a favour and think about how your nutrition is effecting your body.  It has taken me two years to do this and I’m happy with the change.

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I was able to reflect on some pretty deep shit, and realized most elements in your life are easily repeated unless you’re willing to change something.  It’s a good lesson. I have focussed mostly on my relationships and it has been an eye-opener.  Change the parts of the equation and the results will change.

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The Power of the Plan has worked.  A good friend reminded me that consistency is key.  I have fallen short of this for so long.  I am now consistent, focussing daily on my goals.  “One pound at a time”.

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I continued with my 100 miles challenge – I wont finish in the 100 days, but I don’t really care.  It  motivated me to stick with cardio (along with some Zumba) and have seen crazy results in my lifts.  For the little time that has passed, really, working out is now habit.  It wont EVER come second fiddle to anything

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I have always struggled with showing my vulnerable side to people.  My strong, stoic front, much like my weight, has always served a valuable purpose to me.  I let my guard down with someone with whom I got close fairly quickly.  In doing so, I was faced with some lessons on my part.  And while I got hurt or maybe avoided future hurt, I am only taking this as yet another lesson in the journey that is ME.  I will continue to practice my vulnerability and I am sure, like anything else, it will become easier. I will miss them incredibly, but know paths will cross again when the time is right.

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And I feel in love again.  My broken heart was not caused by any one or any thing  in particular, but I was feeling kinda bruised.  Learning to put me first before others was a grand lesson and in that lesson, I have learned to love myself.  I started listening to what others saw in me and I started to believe some of it; internalizing positives can make a big difference. Thank you for believing in me ❤

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And I realized, I like to write.  If I end up being both the writer and the only reader, I don’t care.  My story is worth sharing as it may, hopefully, inspire someone else out there to make the positive changes in their life that they deserve.  I may not be EPIC, but at least I’m doing something I love.

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Thanks for the encouragement.  Axo

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